My boyfriend and I broke up after a big fight and exchanged words I wished I could take back…” Does that sound like the situation you are in now? So, you just had a fight with your boyfriend, you will be glad to here that those really big fights and even small ones help make the relationship stronger when you get back together again. Fights are bound to happen regularly for a healthy intimate relationship, it may not be fun but the experts say it is a necessary ingredient if you want to grow closer. It shows that you’re invested enough to want to battle it out rather than just writing each other off.
To successfully get him back after a fight, here are a few simple do’s and don’ts to note
Do’s
Identify the real underlying issue: First first fight in relationship you must remember that your big fight could be something much deeper than the surface issue, it could have been accumulated fights that may have been ignored or a build up of little annoying things, whatever the case identify the real cause of your fight and try to resolve it from the root.
Stay as calm as possible: Even if the fault is his, it is not wise to start pointing fingers and dishing out blame. Men are genetically made to avoid female confrontation that why they storm out when you start sounding like their mother.Take a deep breath, think happy thoughts before you say what you have to say.
Hear him out: His version of the fight maybe different from your own version. Hear what he has to say, take note of each point and address it respectfully when responding. If you are too shocked by his version of the fight(trust me you will), ask questions “how long have you noticed this?” or “What changes would you like to see next? What would you like me to do next time?” “This tells him you’re listening and willing to make changes, Men tend to respond well when they are respected
Don’ts
No sarcasm: Women are very good when it comes to sarcasm, do not be tempted to say something nasty or ”bitchy”, the man can get this signal from your tone of voice.
No grudging: Do not hold a grudge over something that has happened in the past, your motto should be, if it didn’t bother me enough to talk about it then, then do not bring it up now. Holding on to a grudge leads to anger and blows everything out of proportion.